I know you can’t see this much less read it. It’s been a few days since I’ve lost you and I’m trying to find the strength to write this without slobbering all over myself with tears. You were truly the best dog a person could have, you were always there for me, when I was happy, when I was sad and when I just wanted a hug. I swear you were part human, the way we connected sure felt like it. Although the last few months of your life were difficult and the pain was great, all I can do it apologize for my selfish reasons for wanting to keep you by my side as long as possible. I hope you forgive me…

I feel so guilty for tricking you with hamburgers as a distraction so the vet could inject you with medicine that put you to sleep, and I keep playing that out in my head ALL THE TIME. But, I take solitude in the fact you are now at peace, pain free. I truly hope that where you are now there is an unlimited amount of tennis balls and someone is throwing them for you to catch and there is a great pool for you to jump and swim in. Those were your favorite things to do and although they stopped the during the last few years they are the things I will remember most about you.

This picture is was taken on your last day, and even though it may not look like it you were in a great deal of pain, I wanted so badly to take your pain, I tried everything… But we got to the point where all the pain killers stopped working and you were hurting every day to do the most basic things like walk, eat, sleep.

I’m writing this to you to let you know that I just didn’t kill you, that is my guilt and I have to got over it. I’m writing this so that you know I love you, and I did the only thing left in my power to receive your pain. I hope you understand, what I did was out of love. And while it hurts me so much, I know it was best for you.

I will try to move on. I know it’s going to take time. I know it’s going to hurt. I will never forget you, I will will always remember you as being the most happy, playful loyal companion you were.

Until we see each other again, know that you will always live in my heart. I love you…